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I would randomly choose some topics to talk on this time..
Firstly,I am not feeling really well these past few days as Im stressin' myself up..
Now I really miss my school very much-miss the life there as it's less stressful compared to here..
I feel like breakin down but what's so unfortunate about me is that I dont have anyone who's willing to lend me their shoulders to cry on..
Let's dont talk bout my family here as they are far away from me now..
Sometimes I do feel lonely as I dont have so many friends here..
I know im not really friendly and warm like others so this is the fact that I have to accept..
Only my old friends know me well..
Honestly Im still struggling to adapt with this environment eventhough I ve tried my best to fix everything up..
Im disappointed with myself..
Im a loser..loser..loser..
Studies are gettin tougher with assignments.tests and homeworks overflowing us..
Let's forget about studies (I mean temporarily not forever)..
Let's talk crap..
Can I talk about my crush?^^,
Once upon a time..
When I was in form 3,I went to a tuition centre called "GEMILANG TUITION CENTRE"..
yup it was really "gemilang",shimmering,sparkling and whatsoever ..
It;s very common for the students in my school to develop crush on boys from Malacca High School as they're thought as smart and charming but they have no effects on me as I always ignored them in our tuition classes..
Unfortunately that only lasted for awhile
There;s a boy who really captured my sight as well as my heart..
I know it's a natural feelin but that was the first time I ever felt that way to a boy..
I was too shy and reserved to speak out and told none of my friends about him so I kept it at the very bottom of my heart..
Here starts a happy story for me..
One day when I returned from school,I received a text message from an unknown number and 3 missed calls wishin me a gud luck for my cumin PMR..
I was trying to remember all my mates who owned that number but failed till I discovered from my own friend that was his number..
Those were the best moments in my life as like he knew my real feelin towards him..
Since then,we started to sms,chattin with each other through msn..
After we;ve received our results and both of us managed to get straight a's,we always hang out together in a shopping complex..
He said that he;s gonna apply for a boarding school,MRSM, and asked me to do the same thing
but I was not so interested in transferring school as I always think that it was such a waste of time because just two more years left for us to finish school..
I was in a conflict with him at that time because even when I cried in front of him tellin him not to leave me just for the sake of that school he wouldnt listen to me anymore..
On my birthday(28th/12)he gave me a present,a cute teddy bear with a small card askin for an apology yet he still insisted to transfer school..
Eventually,I have made up my mind and decided to let him go but I said to him,"Please dont lose contact with me"..He promised me the same thing too..
Few months later,I missed him terribly and everything didnt seem right to me..
God I need him to be around me..
I tried to call him but failed..
I didnt know what happened to him since that day till now..
If you re readin this,do call me..
Where are you now??
I guess I need to stop here if not I will become worst..